#0091…TNF100 2012: My journey, my story

Feeling limited and inadequate, I kept my feet busy for months, though I know the road and altitude here were not enough for this monster ultra. This is what I came home for. To once again test myself if I could run it and finish it this time.

DNFing in TNF100 2010 was memorable. That time was different. I quit. I was too weak to fight and find a way how to counter my pain. Realizing that I quit was more painful. It taught me a lot.

 

Reuniting with my running pals was a celebration. Hugs and kisses were given here and there and photo ops were endless.  It felt so good to be with people who share the same obsession. A bonus was meeting ultra greats Andre Blumberg, and Iker Karrera and Julia of team Salomon.

April 21, 2012. Bang! It’s 3am. Runners in their colorful jerseys went zooming. The rhythm of their feet were like music; their blinkers like fireflies spread out in the pitch darkness. I bid my pals good luck and ran alone. Prayers for strength were repeating in my mind. I knew it will not be easy (as there are two cut off stages), but something within tells me, this second journey will be different and quitting is not a part of it.

The weather was perfect, though the sunrise promised a hot day. Temperature was rising. The road-trail leading to AS2 was dusty and full of loose stones. I saw several runners slipped and cursed. Seeing the Gold Creek in Sangilo mines was my first time. The local volunteers were very pleasant to talk to, one even offered me coffee. How I wanted that cup of brew! After turning a bend, a view of what was to come greeted me with intimidation. An abrupt assault leading to the next stage. The mountain offered lush pine trees for cover from the burning morning sun. As I drew nearer to the top, I caught up with some runners and exchanged pleasantries with them. I was more of a listener to their stories of their recent runs and ultras and they amaze me. Then I saw my pal, Jules and walked with her for a while, until we reached a store and got us some cold drinks. In between, I had to massage my thighs with counter pain cream for cramps were creeping in. I started to crawl like a duck at that stage until I was able to ignore it. That was a little of a victory for me.

Runners indulged in cold water, ice, kamote, bananas, energy drinks at AS3 along Ampucao-Philex. I wanted to take a cold bath, the sun was just excruciating. After getting my refill, our small pack proceeded to take on Philex Ridge, another 11km or so ‘til the next stage. The trail was soft and shady until a clearing presented itself and showed the sun-baked ridge. Runners, kilometers up ahead on the ridge were like small dots on a sonar connecting. Our pack of seven looked like the Fellowship in the Lord of the Rings. Conversation was becoming more interesting as we head on further. It grew into a sharing of snippets of who we are. I truly admired these extraordinary runners I was with at that moment. I know I was going to miss them. The view on top of the ridge was a cool 360 degrees. We could see the provinces of Pangasinan, La Union, and parts of the Cordillera region.

Much as I enjoyed the company of my trail buddies, I knew I had to go try and and go a little faster and they graciously acknowledged that; they let me go. I headed fast to the mossy area after the ridge. Entering it was a relief. It was ‘airconditioned’ as the marshal promised. Being inside the canopy of vines, mossy trees, dried twigs, ferns and soft ground offered a temporary shelter from the sun. However, this course  was long, kind of ‘curly’ and tight. After a long way out from the mossy hole was another narrow path. I followed and caught up with a couple of runners and head on to AS4, which felt so agonizingly so long to get to.

Again bananas and kamotes were there for the taking. I was silently wishing for a bowl of ‘arroz caldo’, my mouth watering. I had to wake myself up from that stupor. Got myself bananas, I couldn’t take in anymore of those kamote, they were becoming difficult to chew and swallow. Refilling my water was the most important thing, I drank 4 liters since gunstart.

Leaving AS4 was made in a rush. I had a few hours left to the first cut off. I jogged and  walked and did everything to entertain myself. I kept singing Rolling Stones’ ‘I can’t get no satisfaction’ to fight off my weariness. The rocky pathway was unforgiving. Though it’s downhill, it put so much stress on runners’ knees and feet. I slid and slipped a couple of times. My butt got tiny bruises from it. The route was an oven, no shade from the piercing sun. Lucky me, a runner (Laurence Toquero) was kind enough to get me a banana leaf to shield me from the sun. How ingeniously thoughtful. Such kindness that I’ll never forget. This is the kind of bond that runners have for each other. A bond that is deeper and more meaningful than winning.

Passing by other runners taking a break from the heat, Laurence took the lead and kept telling me ‘we’re almost there’. But I heard that before. I just nodded and thought that maybe, this time it’s for real. A faint sound of a vehicle jolted me to life. I was smiling again. Laurence turned to look at me, delighted. He was telling the truth, we have arrived.

Reaching AS5 was almost like the finish line. Walking on a normal, flat road was an abrupt change to my tired feet. I waggled. I sat to rest and changed my socks. Displeasure followed as my comfort food was no longer good to eat. Supplies were left under the sun, spoiling what could have been a good fuel for the tired body and mind. Temptation was great to end my journey as I saw other runners opted to stop and be whisked back to base camp. I imagined them going back to the comfort of their beds, sipping hot chocolate or hot soup then dream away. I wanted that too. What a battle: me against me.

I set off alone and crossed the foot bridge across Camp 1. Drawing whatever strength I have left, I dragged myself up the hills. Several times I stopped and at one point I fell asleep on the trails. I was woken up by passing runners who saw me (Meljohn and Major Yllana) and egged me to join them. I let go of them as I needed more time to gather my wits. It was getting dark and getting colder too, I had to go on. I ate as I walked, downing water as I pleased. Just as I reached the dirt road, a man met me and asked if I’m runner #0091. He (Al) was told that runners saw me flat on the bushes and told him I might be injured. Al was a radio volunteer for the event. He walked with me halfway to AS6, to the car of his fellow volunteer (Manung Don). Don radioed base camp and told them they found me. For a while I felt significant hearing my race number on the radio. Don asked me if I’d quit and be driven back to base and I heard myself yelled a loud ‘No'!’. That voice within telling me to stop just went mum, defeated. Don offered to massage my thighs, legs and feet. It felt heaven, as Al made me the most delicious coffee. A five star treatment, I say. Another of the kindest gesture I got from total strangers. So thankful of these angels.

Don and Al let me go in the dark. With my legs fresh and with the biggest smile, I tried to catch up with the other runners who saw me earlier. I thought it was better to buddy with them as it was already dark, foggy and cold. They were happy to see me and welcomed me in their group. Majo and Ned were the same runners I saw going down to AS5. Ned became my buddy then we took turns in leading the pack. I appreciated his great stories as we climbed, a great diversion from our own individual pain which was too awful for words.

As the ascent was getting more and more brutal and it was difficult to see where we were, I got separated as Ned had to pace Majo and his other friends behind us. Again I was alone, groping in the dark as the fog was getting thick. I got lost several times, I had to use my whistle to get the attention of the marshals as the flags and markers were becoming fewer.

Guessing that I’m just somewhere leading to the Relay station, as I saw a blur of lights above me. Looking what’s behind me, blinkers were there slowly crawling up. I don’t know if the other runners were having the same pain as I did. Everything became cerebral now.

Crawling up the big rock near AS7 was like a prank. I turned around finding another way but it was for real, I really had to crawl up. I laughed.

I caught up with familiar pals, Billy and his pretty wife Merryl with a group. I was blown away by Billy’s question: ‘Rash, do you think will make it on time?’. I struggled to say, 'let’s try it Billy’ and off we went. It was past 12am, I blindly hammered up. I was like a half-crazed dude waggling with my walk when I reached AS7.

After being told that we’re too late to continue, everything came crushing. My watch says it’s 1:15am. It marked the end of my journey.

Numbness filled my body as I passed by AS8. I looked up at the stars. Running this ultra for the second time has taught me so much and covering 75km wasn't that bad at all. Perhaps it is still not the right time. I was able to keep my word that I will not quit--that is my own victory. I will keep trying until I can finish.

This year’s TNF was a celebration of strength and willpower, of learning , of meeting extraordinary people, and of seeing friends on the same playground that we all love…the trails. 


Big thumbs up to all who finished!

I’ll see you next year. Roar on!