Wednesday, March 19, 2014

Of time and a pain in the rear

It came crashing, humming like a broken glass! The blur and sound of my doctor kept nagging since I paid him a visit. Having my glut muscles checked and x-rayed is a first for me. It’s been bothering me for a couple of months on and off. Good news is I’ll recover and that’s heaven. But the doc telling me more about my x-rays reduced me to pieces. His voice kept echoing --time has finally caught up. I knew it will come knocking one day and that day was just days ago, inside my doctor’s clinic. Recognizing and accepting that there will come a decline, a waning, a regression of the strength in me as i near a culmination of my function. By the way it’s not serious. It’s just a normal passing in life, where you just have to accept it as it keeps you company. Anyways, going back-- my thoughts were running wild as a slomo of what my doctor is saying seemed almost like fatal—an end. I stopped breathing for a while. As I listen to the narrative of the certainty of every living soul by this buff, It just didn’t feel right. Right there,  I wanted to defend myself, to negotiate—with God to be gentle and not to go fast. I want to do more, explore more and get lost at a point where I could close my eyes and go. It is painful being told of the frailty of the body, of the day when you can no longer run nor move, or when you will just be a spectator of what you once were. I want to run until I can no longer run. I think you would want that too. I could be a smug at times, but I learned from this. A trip to the doctor is a dread to most of us pedestrians, however knowing how your body is responding to a glitch and get a legit counsel is better than guessing and gobble on hearsay. Hope is not lost. You owe your body what you are now. If it has taken you places, carried you to an unimaginable distances and has given you the strength that is in you, then it is also right to pay it back. I am just glad, for now, that I can still train and race and run the mountains. That is enough.