Tuesday, August 28, 2012

Idle times

Bed is warm, comfortable and a magnet! Annoyingly I turned off my alarm clock—not just for days but for months. I just wanted silence.
I guess this happens to a few, but then again maybe not. Perhaps it is just me. I don’t know how it came about but I am to blame. I am guilty. It is a choice and I allowed it to happen. A few weeks ago, my rendezvous with Mt. Fuji was another dream come true. I remember bringing home a poster of it a couple of years ago from the Kinabalu International Climbathon and I knew in my heart it was set to happen. However, as I became a mediocre, I was in no shape. Training stalled and got lazy. Weeks of dullness and no action.  I consciously know that I’m not fit and most importantly I was not in my running self to compete. My body and mind weren't in unison.
Strange but I kind of like this moment of inaction. If you happen to read this post and can relate to my situation, I would like it very much to hear from you about  how you beat it or how you’re dealing with it. I am missing my runs---my long runs and the happy workouts. 
I looked for answers. A few friends were very consoling as I told them of my slump. Replies were almost all the same. In one word, they call it a ‘phase’. A juncture of time when the body is needing something to break a monotony, though I am sure I am not a hardcore distance runner as I don’t race much.
I also searched deep within me how to get back, to find myself. It boiled down to the word: ‘choice’. I made that choice to give in to a craving that I don’t understand. I allowed it to take charge of me. Being a good runner is all about devotion and consistency. Since moving to Indonesia, I kind of lost a whole bunch of that. It sounds an excuse but half of it is true. I submitted myself to the fact that I am weak. This acceptance of my limitation is liberating…therapeutic.
At the moment, I am close to going back. I am starting to feel the itch of going back on the road again. Though I know I need to take a break again soon for one personal reason that could change my life. I have no qualms as I know that I could always go back. I just need this 'space' to give something a chance. Running and races will always be there, they won’t go away. Roads, trails and mountains would always welcome me back. That I am sure.
You’ll know when I am back.


  1. Cheer up running duck! There will always be a point in our life that something we hold dear have to take a back seat for awile for us to pursue other important things in our life. Carreer, other passion, etc.. It is your decision, your choice so go for it! You don't want that years from now you'll be saying to yourself "what if.. .?". Good thing with running, as you've said, is that it will be there. The mountains, trails, roads, friends will always be there. And don't gain to much weight during this "idle time" of yours :).

  2. Hi Sir George Killo! Many thanks for your kind words Sir. Yes 'no what ifs'! Good thing, i didn't gain weight, in fact i lost a bit, but i'm still okay. Cheers to more runs! Thank you :)

  3. I just read your post now. I presume your doing much better and enjoying ever run.
    Life is full of obstacles but it is how we handle them that makes us a better person a better runner.
    I always believe runners like us are a different breed of individual.
    We are not the norm of this world but when we fly the world stops for us.
    “ Always make running a way of life “
    Raul Patrick Concepcion