Tuesday, August 28, 2012
Bed is warm, comfortable and a magnet! Annoyingly I turned off my alarm clock—not just for days but for months. I just wanted silence.
I guess this happens to a few, but then again maybe not. Perhaps it is just me. I don’t know how it came about but I am to blame. I am guilty. It is a choice and I allowed it to happen. A few weeks ago, my rendezvous with Mt. Fuji was another dream come true. I remember bringing home a poster of it a couple of years ago from the Kinabalu International Climbathon and I knew in my heart it was set to happen. However, as I became a mediocre, I was in no shape. Training stalled and got lazy. Weeks of dullness and no action. I consciously know that I’m not fit and most importantly I was not in my running self to compete. My body and mind weren't in unison.
Strange but I kind of like this moment of inaction. If you happen to read this post and can relate to my situation, I would like it very much to hear from you about how you beat it or how you’re dealing with it. I am missing my runs---my long runs and the happy workouts.
I looked for answers. A few friends were very consoling as I told them of my slump. Replies were almost all the same. In one word, they call it a ‘phase’. A juncture of time when the body is needing something to break a monotony, though I am sure I am not a hardcore distance runner as I don’t race much.
I also searched deep within me how to get back, to find myself. It boiled down to the word: ‘choice’. I made that choice to give in to a craving that I don’t understand. I allowed it to take charge of me. Being a good runner is all about devotion and consistency. Since moving to Indonesia, I kind of lost a whole bunch of that. It sounds an excuse but half of it is true. I submitted myself to the fact that I am weak. This acceptance of my limitation is liberating…therapeutic.
At the moment, I am close to going back. I am starting to feel the itch of going back on the road again. Though I know I need to take a break again soon for one personal reason that could change my life. I have no qualms as I know that I could always go back. I just need this 'space' to give something a chance. Running and races will always be there, they won’t go away. Roads, trails and mountains would always welcome me back. That I am sure.
You’ll know when I am back.